Pick up lines..

This is your chance to show your creativity gentlemen; don't blow it!

This is one of my favorite topics!

As ladies, we dismiss these lines as mere whimsy.  Roll our eyes at the corny one-liners.  I, however, admire the recent surge of creativity. 

I gag a little when I hear the usual ones:

"Hey Ma, where your man at?" Annoying and grammatically incorrect.  Moving on.

"Hey Boo, I'm going home with you tonight."  Umm no you're not. 

"Damn, Slim! You sexy!"  You barely formed a sentence.  Boy bye.  I like it when they call me Slim, but WHERE'S THE ORIGINALITY?!

I once had an older guy ask me if I was a gospel singer--GENIUS!  Think about it.  It's absurd enough to make me laugh (I get them with my killer smile), and inquisitive enough for me to actually answer.  Conversation starter. 

Men, you really can't go wrong if you call her beautiful.  Even if she's not interested, she'll at least smile. 

Some of the worst:

"Can I be your bestie?"  Translation--can we just fuck.  I appreciate the candor.  Well you had a shot until you opened your mouth.  Learn something clever. 

"Hurry up and give me your number so we can get to the part where you're pregnant and cooking me dinner."  A+ for originality.  This was hilarious.  It's just that the thought of being pregnant and cooking for you is a turn off.  (I think I took this guy's number but never called)

"Let's take a ride."  Unless it's on the back of a motorcycle, umm no.  I was told to never get in the car with strangers.  I don't know you. 

Pause:  These have all actually been said to me. 

Great pick up lines:

"Hello there beautiful.  It's been so long.  How have you been?"
"Do I know you?"
"No, but if I had things my way, you would take this moment to get to know me."
*giggles*

"Can I have your number?"
"No."
"Well then can I get a picture because I HAVE to see you again."
*giggles*

"Ask me for my number."
"But how do you know I want it?"
"Ask me anyways, humor me."
"OK, can I have your number?"
"How could I say no to someone so beautiful?"
*giggles*

The giggles are usually a good sign.  I mean, at least she's entertained. 

Components of a good pick up line:

1.  It has to be conversational.  Most girls like to talk--let them.  You should know something about her when she walks away besides her phone number.
2.  It has to be clever.  Women get hit on all the time, especially the cute ones.  Don't be ordinary--you'll be forgettable. 
3.  CALL HER BEAUTIFUL!! Women are suckers for it--can't hear it enough. 

Earlier this year, I was dating a guy (#75).  While out with him, he introduced me to a friend of his.  Later that night, that friend approached me and hit on me.  I was appalled at his disregard for the friendship and mesmerized by his charisma and lack of fear or remorse.  All's fair in love and war he said.  Clever one liner #76, very clever. 

Wait until I tell you that story.  :) 

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