Adult relationships..
I got into this heated discussion about this very important topic with #29 about 6 months ago.
My side of the argument:
Single adults need to have relationships with other adult individuals, preferably also single. Not necessarily a romantic relationship, just a companion. Someone with which to spend some time and talk. Someone to share some part of your world or a common interest.
The definition of these relationships will be defined by the individual. For some, this will be a sexual relationship defined by kinky meeting and pretty underwear. For others, this will be a regular meeting place written in pen in the date book, a weekly matinee, a new restaurant every time. For others still, it's an exchange of emails and an occasional drink when busy lives cross (I should have been a lawyer, this is an excellent opening argument).
I continued:
This is the best way to stay out of complicated relationships. Clear definitions up front about what is expected and when to cut a man loose. Boundaries.
Everything should be run this way. It doesn't necessarily prevent anyone from getting hurt, but it will eliminate the blame game if it goes bad.
The thing is that we are all secretly wishing for is someone who can fulfill multiple categories instead of multiple people fulfilling one or two categories each (At this point, I think I had him. He was looking at me carefully pondering the justification).
The difference between you and I, dear #29, is that you are looking for that one person to span all categories and complete you, and I would rather find someone to satisfy the part of me that they do best. If you are great at finding new restaurants, do that. If you like shopping, let's go. If you give the best head, dive on in (I knew I had lost my argument there, but I like to say things like that to #29 to piss him off. C'mon guys, it was really funny)!
His reaction:
No offense, but the guys you date don't ever want to be with you. So I won't take advice from who isn't doing better than me. You sound like a slut. You're never going to get married. I wish you would just settle down, find a man, trick him into marrying you, and get pregnant.
Well spoken #29, well spoken.
My side of the argument:
Single adults need to have relationships with other adult individuals, preferably also single. Not necessarily a romantic relationship, just a companion. Someone with which to spend some time and talk. Someone to share some part of your world or a common interest.
The definition of these relationships will be defined by the individual. For some, this will be a sexual relationship defined by kinky meeting and pretty underwear. For others, this will be a regular meeting place written in pen in the date book, a weekly matinee, a new restaurant every time. For others still, it's an exchange of emails and an occasional drink when busy lives cross (I should have been a lawyer, this is an excellent opening argument).
I continued:
This is the best way to stay out of complicated relationships. Clear definitions up front about what is expected and when to cut a man loose. Boundaries.
Everything should be run this way. It doesn't necessarily prevent anyone from getting hurt, but it will eliminate the blame game if it goes bad.
The thing is that we are all secretly wishing for is someone who can fulfill multiple categories instead of multiple people fulfilling one or two categories each (At this point, I think I had him. He was looking at me carefully pondering the justification).
The difference between you and I, dear #29, is that you are looking for that one person to span all categories and complete you, and I would rather find someone to satisfy the part of me that they do best. If you are great at finding new restaurants, do that. If you like shopping, let's go. If you give the best head, dive on in (I knew I had lost my argument there, but I like to say things like that to #29 to piss him off. C'mon guys, it was really funny)!
His reaction:
No offense, but the guys you date don't ever want to be with you. So I won't take advice from who isn't doing better than me. You sound like a slut. You're never going to get married. I wish you would just settle down, find a man, trick him into marrying you, and get pregnant.
Well spoken #29, well spoken.
Comments
Post a Comment