The Thirst Was Real..

I have been told that I can be intimidating by several individuals until I open my mouth.  I guess it takes me to start speaking for people to realize how un-bougie and down to earth I really am. 

Most men won't take the time to converse with someone who might reject them, so my fear is that I could be missing out on my Prince Charming because he is too afraid to approach me.  To combat this, I smile often, I try to talk to everyone, I try to be personable with everyone I meet.  I don't want anyone to think I'm standoffish.

GOTSA BE MORE CAREFUL!!

Why the hell do I attract THE most broken and abnormal individuals?  Do I look like Captain Save 'Em? 

I went to Louisiana for a week a couple of weeks ago.  I didn't go there to sight see or even man watch (I did a little of both).  I went there to support the homie Sherlock and chill with the other homie code name, Dark Chocolate (D.C. from here on out). 

It was hot in Louisiana, clearly the thirst was real. 

So there we were, me and D.C., fine as hell in a strange city with nothing to do.  The hotel had a shuttle that would take us anywhere in the immediate area for food, entertainment, etc. 

Pause:  Yes, we totally went to the liquor store.  Act like you know me, guys. 

The driver on this day was this country ass white boy, from now on known as #121.  He was sweet, from the area, and really seemed to know what was going on and who to talk to in the city.  So we chatted it up with him in hopes of getting a cheap travel guide for a couple of sexy out-of-towners.  It worked. 

Pause again:  I almost don't want to give him a number.  You're about to find out why. 

So I meet him out on Friday night at some club, for some party, somewhere in Louisiana.  He made at least 5 relationship ending mistakes the very first night. 

1.  He talked about his Ex.  I wasn't too concerned about it, he just mentioned it enough to say that she cheated.  Clearly he still harbored some ill feelings over it; I might need to get something like that off of my chest as well. 

2.  He talked about how "fucked up" he was.  Conversations can typically go off track when there is alcohol involved.  I wasn't mad at him for sharing some of his life stories, but bitch don't kill my vibe!  I told him I only wanted to talk about happy things and enjoy the time that we would have.  It fell on deaf ears.  He kept bringing the shit back up. 

3.  He kissed me.  Without my permission.  In the mouth.  I was so disappointed.  He was such a gentlemen until then.  I am VERY affectionate, but not with someone I just met.  I need motive first. 

4.  He planned out the next year of our lives in one evening.  No, literally, dude was talking about me bringing my kids back for Easter and everything.  I'm not even sure how he thought that was ok.  Pump the brakes homie! 

5.  He mentioned that he wanted a son.  DONE!!!  You want a kid with me? You don't even fucking know me!  I could be a psychopath with a cute face (jury's still out). 

Do y'all want to hear about how he tried to do it to me?  No condom?  First night?  Good, because I don't even want to talk about it.  I will say this though.  I had to physically stop him from trying to stick it in.  I felt it.  I probably would have been heavily disappointed. 

I think if I were still talking to him today, he would mistakenly tell me that he loved me.

I don't blame him though.  Clearly #120 was broken; I'm just not in the habit of carrying super glue around in my back pocket.  I know that goes against everything that I may have said in a previous post or in previous conversation.  I think if you have baggage, someone who really cares should make a point to help you unpack the bags.  I would do it for someone I loved in a heartbeat, but I know my damage limit.  The average man gets none of this. 

Here's a Janel rule of thumb (I don't give advice, this is my rule).  Beware of the love given too freely.  It shouldn't be a puzzle, but it should be well earned.  Someone willing to give you their love without question or regard for their own sanity may not be able to really love you!  These people typically love someone according to some arbitrary and possibly dysfunctional definition of love that they have.

You have to get to know someone to completely love them.  Love is specific to every person, and every person wants to be loved differently.  Love has to be precise to be complete. 

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