Smoke, Mirrors, and Makeup...
So it's been a while...
I'll spare you with the long hello's and 40 reasons that I haven't posted in months. Just know that my WHOLE life changed, and it changed the dynamic of these posts. So for me, same title, different purpose.
But it's so good to be back.
And I have shit to talk about with y'all.
Good shit.
Juicy shit.
I'm gonna talk numbers in another post, but I needed to get something off my chest.
We live in a world of smoke and mirrors, maybe we always did. As of late though, I'm seeing more smoke and more mirrors than usual. I'll attribute some of it to maturation. Maybe I see more than I used to see. Maybe those steps that I've been able to take back have helped me have a deeper understanding of people in general. Maybe I can just see bullshit in my 30's that I couldn't see in my 20's. Whatever the reason, I have a general question for the masses.
Why are we hiding?
Let me tell you what incited this question.
So I see many posts like this one:
Cute right?
Personally, I don't care what the hell you do with your face, but the reality of this is that men are scared. Real life scared. And I feel them. Straight men don't want to run into woman of their dreams only to find out that they're a man.
Pause: I've heard the argument that love knows no boundaries....but it should. Not telling someone honestly about your race, gender, sexual preference, marital status, sexual identity, etc. is nothing short of irresponsible. Allowing someone to fall in love with you under pretense isn't fair. Not to you or that other person. Don't be unfair. Don't be selfish because you think you know what's best for someone else. Take the smoke out the game.
So the question was posed on FB to ladies:
Would you have a problem if a man asked you to go on a first date without makeup or weave?
I say no (like I've said before, makeup and weave aren't really my thing).
Most women say no.
Some say that they won't leave the house without makeup. When asked, one women even went as far to say that if he makes that request, then I'm gonna request to see his unlocked phone.
Whoa SHIT!! Word?? The phone though?
That's hella personal.
Pause: I'm going to quote her later in this post. It's not an attack. Just one woman's opinion, and I appreciate her permission to use our brief conversation.
Traditionally, a person's phone holds all their important information including their deepest darkest secrets, conversations with ex's, screenshots of old messages, naked pics of the chick from the other night. A phone is a treasure of information that you may or may not want someone else to see. My phone stays locked, so does my husband's. That's a conversation for another day.
Pause: Yes bitches! I said husband. Someone actually married my goofy, tell-all-the-business ass. Poor guy.
But back to this woman...
...who hides her face under makeup for no one else to see. Again, not an attack, but I do fail to understand. So I asked her how she draws the comparison.
"I take a lot of pride in my appearance and pride myself on looking my best...asking me to do that on a first date I take highly offensive ....it's like testing to see if I'm good enough...so I would want to see if he's good enough...it feels like a degrading request" --Salem
Now this, I do understand. A first date is sort of like a try-out. This is what's available to you. This is me, at my best, for you. Enjoy this. Take this in. Breathe it.
But if you take away the smoke and mirrors, leave the makeup on the counter in the bathroom, and choose to let someone see you as you are, are you revealing something or just being honest. THIS is me. Take it or leave it.
We have an expectation of honesty of that person across the dinner table. I don't think makeup in and of itself is dishonest (although I know y'all have seen some of the before and afters), but at what point do you blow the smoke away? How long is long enough to wash your face in front of your love interest? Do you give it the same amount of time as you would to unlock your phone? What are you hiding under there? Is this request really disrespectful?
Most of these questions I can't answer.
But maybe you can.
Feel free to drop a comment below. I would love to hear from you. Y'all are my inspiration.....keep me writing.
You can find me on FB at facebook.com/missblondecurls
Drop me questions as you have them.
P.S. Thank you again Salem for letting me use our conversation....your makeup is flawless.
I'll spare you with the long hello's and 40 reasons that I haven't posted in months. Just know that my WHOLE life changed, and it changed the dynamic of these posts. So for me, same title, different purpose.
But it's so good to be back.
And I have shit to talk about with y'all.
Good shit.
Juicy shit.
I'm gonna talk numbers in another post, but I needed to get something off my chest.
We live in a world of smoke and mirrors, maybe we always did. As of late though, I'm seeing more smoke and more mirrors than usual. I'll attribute some of it to maturation. Maybe I see more than I used to see. Maybe those steps that I've been able to take back have helped me have a deeper understanding of people in general. Maybe I can just see bullshit in my 30's that I couldn't see in my 20's. Whatever the reason, I have a general question for the masses.
Why are we hiding?
Let me tell you what incited this question.
So I see many posts like this one:
Cute right?
Personally, I don't care what the hell you do with your face, but the reality of this is that men are scared. Real life scared. And I feel them. Straight men don't want to run into woman of their dreams only to find out that they're a man.
Pause: I've heard the argument that love knows no boundaries....but it should. Not telling someone honestly about your race, gender, sexual preference, marital status, sexual identity, etc. is nothing short of irresponsible. Allowing someone to fall in love with you under pretense isn't fair. Not to you or that other person. Don't be unfair. Don't be selfish because you think you know what's best for someone else. Take the smoke out the game.
So the question was posed on FB to ladies:
Would you have a problem if a man asked you to go on a first date without makeup or weave?
I say no (like I've said before, makeup and weave aren't really my thing).
Most women say no.
Some say that they won't leave the house without makeup. When asked, one women even went as far to say that if he makes that request, then I'm gonna request to see his unlocked phone.
Whoa SHIT!! Word?? The phone though?
That's hella personal.
Pause: I'm going to quote her later in this post. It's not an attack. Just one woman's opinion, and I appreciate her permission to use our brief conversation.
Traditionally, a person's phone holds all their important information including their deepest darkest secrets, conversations with ex's, screenshots of old messages, naked pics of the chick from the other night. A phone is a treasure of information that you may or may not want someone else to see. My phone stays locked, so does my husband's. That's a conversation for another day.
Pause: Yes bitches! I said husband. Someone actually married my goofy, tell-all-the-business ass. Poor guy.
But back to this woman...
...who hides her face under makeup for no one else to see. Again, not an attack, but I do fail to understand. So I asked her how she draws the comparison.
"I take a lot of pride in my appearance and pride myself on looking my best...asking me to do that on a first date I take highly offensive ....it's like testing to see if I'm good enough...so I would want to see if he's good enough...it feels like a degrading request" --Salem
Now this, I do understand. A first date is sort of like a try-out. This is what's available to you. This is me, at my best, for you. Enjoy this. Take this in. Breathe it.
But if you take away the smoke and mirrors, leave the makeup on the counter in the bathroom, and choose to let someone see you as you are, are you revealing something or just being honest. THIS is me. Take it or leave it.
We have an expectation of honesty of that person across the dinner table. I don't think makeup in and of itself is dishonest (although I know y'all have seen some of the before and afters), but at what point do you blow the smoke away? How long is long enough to wash your face in front of your love interest? Do you give it the same amount of time as you would to unlock your phone? What are you hiding under there? Is this request really disrespectful?
Most of these questions I can't answer.
But maybe you can.
Feel free to drop a comment below. I would love to hear from you. Y'all are my inspiration.....keep me writing.
You can find me on FB at facebook.com/missblondecurls
Drop me questions as you have them.
P.S. Thank you again Salem for letting me use our conversation....your makeup is flawless.
There is no legit comparison to requesting to see someone without makeup and going through someone's phone. Someone wanting to see what you actually look like...like do you have any eyebrows??.... and someone wanting to get into your phone with all your personal info like bank account info, emails, etc is like comparing the sea to dry land. I want to see what a man looks like w/o a hat and sunglasses on. What if his head is lopsided? What if he's missing and eye? Maybe that's shallow. IDK but I should have choice to decide if I'm attracted to his lopsided head or not. Regardless, that's not as deep as wanting to read texts from his best friend ON A FIRST DATE.
ReplyDeleteI personally wouldn't make such a request...but the first few dates are about seeing if the person is actually likeable, not if I want to wake up next to them every morning for the rest of my life.
ReplyDeleteBut I can understand the sentiment, even if I find the comparison flimsy at best. To a large degree, makeup is about hiding flaws, real or imagined. And it would be rude for a man to ask such a thing of a woman on their very first date, Especially if he's unwilling to expose something that might make him uncomfortable.
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