Rewind..
I've been known to try and try again as far as someone or a relationship is concerned. This is the sentiment of many women. We'll exhaust all possibilities until there aren't any left. Just keep throwing shit up against the wall until something sticks.
This means, gentlemen, that the woman you have won't just walk when things start going bad. These women are resilient and not easily frustrated. This is a good thing because y'all put us through some shit.
Pause: All of the pronouns in these posts are easily interchanged. I know there are some women out there that will push good men to their limits too. Quit scoffing--keep reading.
Here's the thing about pushing someone to their limit though. Are you paying attention? When she's done, SHE'S DONE!
I wish I had a nickel for every time I've been told that someone was done with me and came back in less than a week. I wish I had a dollar for every man that gave me the Heisman and then realized that he stiff armed one of the good ones. I would at least be able to buy a new pair of shoes and that navy blue pea coat I saw in the Vicki magazine.
Joke is always on them though. I do NOT back track. I'm a firm believer in, "You're a part of my past for a reason." I have no problems being friends with someone I used to date, but a roll in the hay or even dinner and a movie is out of the question.
Y'all know I don't give advice. I mean, who takes sound dating advice from someone who's been single for more than 5 years? I do, however, strongly suggest you think twice before you pick up the phone the next time that fling calls you looking to rekindle something that burnt out long ago.
Pause: Now we all have that one with whom we have some "unfinished business". 'Sending someone on their way' and 'that one that got away' are two very different people. By all means, play all your cards until the game is over, but once the game is over, establish a clear disposition and stick to it. It's not always easy, especially if deep feelings are involved.
This is just a classic case of forgive, but never forget. If someone broke your heart in 2010, what makes you think they won't this year as well? What message are you sending this person by allowing them close to your heart again?
Stop fooling yourselves ladies. There is NO starting over with someone with which you have a strong and troubled history. No matter what you think, you'll be picking up right where you left off. All the hurt, pain, love, great sex, or whatever picks up right where you dropped it off.
Of course, some of you hard headed broads are going to need to bump your own head. I respect it; I'm the same way. Be honest with yourself and whoever this dude is up front. Ask the hard questions in the very beginning--communication will be your biggest tool. At times, it may be your only one.
If he used FB or his phone to be dishonest and cheat on you, is he willing to give you passwords and unlock his phone this time? If he cheated with a specific someone, does he still talk to her? Does he do the same untrustworthy acts? Is he willing to do what it takes?
I don't believe people change unless they want to, and, as much as you may not want to hear this, you're probably not enough to make someone change for the better. Don't take this personally. You wouldn't want someone to be able to manipulate you so easily. Change, like happiness, comes from within.
Pause: Of course, this is a generalization. Of course, there are exceptions to the rule. You can't turn a hoe into a housewife though. Stop dating people based on their potential. Date them with the idea that they may never change. Can you love that?
This post isn't meant to discourage anyone from doing what they want--just approach the situation with your eyes open. All the way open. Have you ever heard the saying, "You can't make the same mistake twice. The first time it's a mistake, the second time it's a choice"?
Don't make bad choices.
This means, gentlemen, that the woman you have won't just walk when things start going bad. These women are resilient and not easily frustrated. This is a good thing because y'all put us through some shit.
Pause: All of the pronouns in these posts are easily interchanged. I know there are some women out there that will push good men to their limits too. Quit scoffing--keep reading.
Here's the thing about pushing someone to their limit though. Are you paying attention? When she's done, SHE'S DONE!
I wish I had a nickel for every time I've been told that someone was done with me and came back in less than a week. I wish I had a dollar for every man that gave me the Heisman and then realized that he stiff armed one of the good ones. I would at least be able to buy a new pair of shoes and that navy blue pea coat I saw in the Vicki magazine.
Joke is always on them though. I do NOT back track. I'm a firm believer in, "You're a part of my past for a reason." I have no problems being friends with someone I used to date, but a roll in the hay or even dinner and a movie is out of the question.
Y'all know I don't give advice. I mean, who takes sound dating advice from someone who's been single for more than 5 years? I do, however, strongly suggest you think twice before you pick up the phone the next time that fling calls you looking to rekindle something that burnt out long ago.
Pause: Now we all have that one with whom we have some "unfinished business". 'Sending someone on their way' and 'that one that got away' are two very different people. By all means, play all your cards until the game is over, but once the game is over, establish a clear disposition and stick to it. It's not always easy, especially if deep feelings are involved.
This is just a classic case of forgive, but never forget. If someone broke your heart in 2010, what makes you think they won't this year as well? What message are you sending this person by allowing them close to your heart again?
Stop fooling yourselves ladies. There is NO starting over with someone with which you have a strong and troubled history. No matter what you think, you'll be picking up right where you left off. All the hurt, pain, love, great sex, or whatever picks up right where you dropped it off.
Of course, some of you hard headed broads are going to need to bump your own head. I respect it; I'm the same way. Be honest with yourself and whoever this dude is up front. Ask the hard questions in the very beginning--communication will be your biggest tool. At times, it may be your only one.
If he used FB or his phone to be dishonest and cheat on you, is he willing to give you passwords and unlock his phone this time? If he cheated with a specific someone, does he still talk to her? Does he do the same untrustworthy acts? Is he willing to do what it takes?
I don't believe people change unless they want to, and, as much as you may not want to hear this, you're probably not enough to make someone change for the better. Don't take this personally. You wouldn't want someone to be able to manipulate you so easily. Change, like happiness, comes from within.
Pause: Of course, this is a generalization. Of course, there are exceptions to the rule. You can't turn a hoe into a housewife though. Stop dating people based on their potential. Date them with the idea that they may never change. Can you love that?
This post isn't meant to discourage anyone from doing what they want--just approach the situation with your eyes open. All the way open. Have you ever heard the saying, "You can't make the same mistake twice. The first time it's a mistake, the second time it's a choice"?
Don't make bad choices.
Nice! I actually agree Whole Heartedly..Respect to ya Beloved!
ReplyDelete