It's only fair..

I have noticed a very alarming trend as of late.  I'll get to that in a second, but first a story. 

Pretty girl goes to bar.  Guy notices pretty girl and wants to talk to her.  Guy buys girl a drink and starts conversation.  Girl drinks drink and carries on conversation with guy.  They get to know each other enough to know that they want to continue conversation.  They exchange information. 

This used to be the way of the world.  Now I know the economy is bad.  Men just can't be out here buying all the pretty girls drinks all willy nilly.  Let's be real though--how the hell do you expect to keep pretty girl's attention with, well, nothing. 

WHY DON'T MEN BUY DRINKS AT THE BAR ANYMORE?

Now, I ain't saying I'm a gold digger, and anyone who knows me knows I'm not the type to be in someone's pocket. 

Pause:  Men, let any chick in your pockets, and she will help you spend your money.  That doesn't make her a gold digger--it makes her a woman.  I WILL spend your money if you let me.  Duh!

But it's not about money.  Here's what it boils down to--in exchange for my time and someone getting my company, I am getting _____________.  I use a drink as an example because I'm a closet alcoholic, but it applies in more situations.  The trade off can be dinner, a show, a movie, a cup of coffee if that's your thing.  The bottom line is, men, you have to take a chance.  There will be no reward without risk. 

Pause:  Of course we all want that relationship where there isn't any type of exchange, or at least the exchange isn't needed.  We want our company to be enough.  You'll get there--I promise.  In the beginning though, get your shit together.  I don't know you!  Give me a reason to want to get to know you!

I know that there are women out there that have ruined the situation for all women.  It's unfortunate, but put the bags down.  Yeah, I said it!  Don't be a man scorned, spite and regret are ugly on everyone no matter how well you wear it. 

Pause:  I can sense men scoffing as I'm typing.  I firmly believe that this can and should be reciprocated.  I'm definitely not too cute to buy a man a drink or dinner occasionally.  I have 2 kids though sooooooo don't expect it often.

Bottom line, women feel like chivalry is dead.  I know it didn't die, but it seems to be in a state of coma as far as many men are concerned, or men don't want to waste their chivalry on someone who might not be deserving.  I understand the caution, but it's not working.  Your chivalry and generosity shouldn't be in short supply (even when money is). 

Open doors, pull out chairs, kiss her on the cheek, and buy her a damn drink at the bar if you want her to talk to you.  It's only fair. 

Comments

  1. UnknownAugust 9, 2013 at 6:40 AM

    I like this post. I've been Chivalric person since my parents whooped me to be great. The only issue I have is that when I am being a gentleman, I'm either a) looked at like "Naggin, what's your angle. b)get scoffed at like "Naggin, that's what your supposed to do"...I could go on and on, but the point is, sometimes I get weary of well doing because sometimes....SOMETIMES you gals can dismiss us before even getting to know the "nice guy". Your post made me believe that's still what ya'll want though and as a firm lover of my black women I'll keep complimenting and continue my gentleman ways. LOL

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    Replies
    1. UnknownAugust 9, 2013 at 10:55 AM

      I agree with you David. Women have definitely become more defensive. The connotation carried with the word thirst has limited some male/female interaction. My solution, be sincere and be real. If you run into a woman that seems to be a little stuck up, tell her. Explain how interested you are but you can't hear a word she's saying over the wall she's built. Any sincere, open-minded woman will see your chivalry like a diamond--priceless. All the others weren't worth your time in the first place.

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