What's Love Got To Do With It??
Disclaimer: I won't lie to you guys and say that this post isn't coming from an angry place. I'm hurting, and any writer knows that this is a writer's therapy (this is why we don't need black couches). Once again, I'm inside of my 72 hours.
This is not advice! Single people shouldn't take advice from other single people, especially one who hasn't had a successful relationship yet. Consider this a list of definitions.
"I'm in love with you"
Of all the phrases that I've heard, this is the most clear, cut and dry. You can't mistake this one. If someone tells you that they are in love with you, it means you have migrated to the center of their world and their heart. They need you. They don't want to continue without you (whether they have to or not). They will never forget you. They don't remember how is was to not have you in their lives.
I don't like to put a time limit on things, but ultimately, to truly fall in love someone takes time. Feelings have to develop. You have to learn who this person is, inside and out. It won't happen in a matter of days, maybe not even weeks or months, but give it time. It will happen. Even after you spend all the time you can getting to know someone, you still may not know them completely. It won't matter when the skeletons come falling out of the closet. "In love" won't go away.
Pause: You can fall out of love with someone. It happened with me and #29. I woke up one morning and realized that I wasn't in love anymore. In fact, I was almost indifferent but very stuck in my ways. Out of love, but content. It wasn't his fault (completely), it had just run its course. Falling out of love took much longer than falling in love with him.
"I love you" vs. "I got love for you"
This is where it gets a bit more difficult, but the difference here is very important. Before you tell someone that you love them, really sit back and think about how.
If you're around someone for a while (months or even years), they hold you down, they help you out, they listen and talk, they partake of some of your activities, and they meet your friends, and most importantly you're intimate, it is only natural to have some love for this person. You should have some love for this person. The same love you have for the bartender that's been hooking you up at the bar you frequent for 5 years or the neighbor of 3 years who will just cut your grass if they see you need it.
They're doing you a solid (over and over). Kind and warm-hearted individuals deserve this kind of love. Tell them how much you appreciate them, how awesome they are, but under no circumstances confuse this with actually loving someone.
Loving someone, really loving someone changes you. It changes the way you look at some things. Making decisions don't just include you, at least not in your mind. You can suddenly imagine your future "not alone." You are not the same. You will never forget.
People confuse the two all the time. Words of advice before you start feasting on the dreams someone is feeding you. Sit back and watch them. Love doesn't have room for anyone else. Love isn't just words, it's actions.
Pause: The dynamics of the relationship between and the person you love may not change, but the feel of it will. With all that said, love isn't enough for two people to be together unless they're worth it and both willing to try.
Ok, let me make it personal. I mean, that's why you all read the blog anyways, right.
Every love for that special person differs from the last. I have fallen in love 3 times in my life. I would've given my life for the first one (#4). I wanted to kill the second one because it was so dysfunctional (#29). The jury is still out on the third (#76), but I have to be honest. It's not looking good.
Until the next time...
This is not advice! Single people shouldn't take advice from other single people, especially one who hasn't had a successful relationship yet. Consider this a list of definitions.
"I'm in love with you"
Of all the phrases that I've heard, this is the most clear, cut and dry. You can't mistake this one. If someone tells you that they are in love with you, it means you have migrated to the center of their world and their heart. They need you. They don't want to continue without you (whether they have to or not). They will never forget you. They don't remember how is was to not have you in their lives.
I don't like to put a time limit on things, but ultimately, to truly fall in love someone takes time. Feelings have to develop. You have to learn who this person is, inside and out. It won't happen in a matter of days, maybe not even weeks or months, but give it time. It will happen. Even after you spend all the time you can getting to know someone, you still may not know them completely. It won't matter when the skeletons come falling out of the closet. "In love" won't go away.
Pause: You can fall out of love with someone. It happened with me and #29. I woke up one morning and realized that I wasn't in love anymore. In fact, I was almost indifferent but very stuck in my ways. Out of love, but content. It wasn't his fault (completely), it had just run its course. Falling out of love took much longer than falling in love with him.
"I love you" vs. "I got love for you"
This is where it gets a bit more difficult, but the difference here is very important. Before you tell someone that you love them, really sit back and think about how.
If you're around someone for a while (months or even years), they hold you down, they help you out, they listen and talk, they partake of some of your activities, and they meet your friends, and most importantly you're intimate, it is only natural to have some love for this person. You should have some love for this person. The same love you have for the bartender that's been hooking you up at the bar you frequent for 5 years or the neighbor of 3 years who will just cut your grass if they see you need it.
They're doing you a solid (over and over). Kind and warm-hearted individuals deserve this kind of love. Tell them how much you appreciate them, how awesome they are, but under no circumstances confuse this with actually loving someone.
Loving someone, really loving someone changes you. It changes the way you look at some things. Making decisions don't just include you, at least not in your mind. You can suddenly imagine your future "not alone." You are not the same. You will never forget.
People confuse the two all the time. Words of advice before you start feasting on the dreams someone is feeding you. Sit back and watch them. Love doesn't have room for anyone else. Love isn't just words, it's actions.
Pause: The dynamics of the relationship between and the person you love may not change, but the feel of it will. With all that said, love isn't enough for two people to be together unless they're worth it and both willing to try.
Ok, let me make it personal. I mean, that's why you all read the blog anyways, right.
Every love for that special person differs from the last. I have fallen in love 3 times in my life. I would've given my life for the first one (#4). I wanted to kill the second one because it was so dysfunctional (#29). The jury is still out on the third (#76), but I have to be honest. It's not looking good.
Until the next time...
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