Don't get it, never will..Simple Suggestions On How Not To Date..

I like to think of myself as an equal opportunity employer actively accepting applications for an unfilled position.  All can apply, even the white boys.  This makes 75% of my black friends crazy. Pause:  Crazy with curiosity, I think.  They always ask if it's really pink, like on the pornos.  Yes, yes it is. They turn their faces upside down and ask me how I could possibly be attracted to a white dude.  My response, "Well I really think it's the same except the white dudes worship the ground I walk on, respect me, pay for everything, have better jobs, better credit, and give great head." (I like to throw that last part in for shits and giggles.  I have, however, found it to be mostly true in my experience.  Some of them have numbers too--don't worry, I'm getting there). I went to a predominantly white high school (there were about 500 in my graduating class--8 of us were black).  I love white people--I'm used to them.  ...

Special post (in light of recent events).  I despise giving out current information about myself.  The last thing that I need is a reader taking something off of the "Janel cheat sheet" and using it against me.  It can be dangerous for all parties involved.  For some topics, however, I will make an exception.  Let's get dangerous (in my Dark Wing Duck voice).  I do not like "cookie cutter" sex, vanilla sex if you will.  Pause:  I'm not a freak, at least I won't claim it.  But I do like sex to be exciting, I have a lot of energy to burn.  Let's go over some basic requirements: Hair:  I expect it to be pulled!  Ok, so it sound a little freaky, but a little pain and pleasure go hand in hand.  Some girls like to be whipped, flogged, choked, and some enjoy a little smacking, and I am down for all of that too.  The hair must be pulled though.  Head:  It's 2012, and people still aren't giving head out t...

People should stick to what they do best, especially in relationships.  If you cook the best, do it so you don't have to eat your partner's nasty ass food.  If you clean the best, do it.  You're going to have to do it anyways.  So on and so forth.  I was dating a guy (I said that like it's new information), #76.   He was great at dates.  I like to go places with him so much so that I wanted to be his "go-to" automatic date.  His response was, "Sometimes, I like to go places by myself, ya know, single guy out there in the world."  Well silly me, you asshole.  Pause:  That answer was totally unacceptable to me. I pondered it though, and I decided he might be on to something.  Really, I said to myself, "Two can play that game you bastard!" Going out single as an attractive female is different than going out as a single male.  Women expect the man to approach them, and the men get to choose who...

In light of my recent dating extravaganza and the up and coming close of the Cuffin Season opener, I would like to share some advice with the gentlemen out there (I hope that there are gentlemen that read my blog).  This advice is geared toward the younger men, but it applies to all.  I can tolerate a lot--except stupidity I like to talk, well most women like to talk.  I like to talk more than the average individual (if #76 is reading, he just rolled his eyes), about nothing and everything all at the same time.  Intelligent conversation with a certain amount of passion.  But I will no longer hold conversation with anyone about weed and hip hop.  I WILL talk about sports, but I expect a man a to know about sports of some sort.  So you mean to tell me that you spent at least 12 years in school, and you didn't like any part of it?  The weather?  Politics?  Religion?  I don't care if we talk about the graphics and controls of 2K13...

I usually write my blogs days ahead of time.  In honor of the special time of the season is this special post. This post is especially for my married white friends who have no idea what I'm talking about most of the time. It's October and officially cuffin season.  Oh, you don't know what cuffin season is?  Well let me enlighten you.  Cuffin season refers to the colder months of the year when its more convenient to have a steady "adult relationship" instead of being single.  Cuffin someone is like having a relationship lite.  It's the relationship purgatory that happens around this time of the year.  I mean think about it; who wants to be out when it's cold trying to talk to someone in the parking lot.  No walks or long conversations outside in the sun--some are at a disadvantage.  Most people want to hibernate (I know I do) in the winter, and the goal is to find someone whom you trust enough to spend the season. It's tradition. It's log...