Bounce Back..
It wasn't until I was 26 that I found myself single. Seven years behind bars had left me a little out of practice--well without any real practice. I had to re-learn how to talk to men, study the most recent rules of dating, and flex my dating muscles (so to speak).
I went to bars with friends to pass the time away and fend off pangs of loneliness.
One night, sitting at the Triple L, in walks #42.
He was dirty and layered in heavy clothes with rough hands. Construction, not bad. He smiled at me--perfect white teeth. Even better. We talked and exchanged numbers quickly. We talked some more--we had a lot in common. He was recently single as well.
He was cute, a little too short, but a big buy nonetheless. I figured my first time back in the game, I didn't need to be picky about whose team I was on. Rebounds in the dating game are temporary, ,but still a necessary game winning statistic.
Pause: I used to be very trusting, even to the point of being naive.
I took everything he said at face value. He recently broke up with his daughters' mother, she was nagging, demanding, and unwilling to let the relationship go. She caused drama. His story seemed plausible, and further more, who am I to judge? I entered the situation knowing that this was going to be a temporary fix. Plus, my situation sounded very similar and ultimately not much better.
We snuck around, for different reasons of course. I snuck around because I didn't know how else to be. I snuck around to prove to my ex (#29), as if to say "Ha ha! I'm more clever than you." Plus when I left, I moved in with my mother--I surely couldn't take him home. He snuck around because he needed to, because she was still at home with him.
Dating folly: Not asking enough questions. #42 never lied to me, but I had to probe to get answers because he wasn't very forthcoming. I was only interested in knocking some of the cobwebs off so even after I interrogated the truth out of him, we continued to sneak.
It was fun. We fucked everywhere. We would get hotel rooms for the weekend, have sex at his office and other kinky places, and he would buy me gifts. I felt so pampered, so different than what I had just left. I was content being his concubine while he disregarded the boundaries of his relationship.
You ready for a gauntlet to drop?
After one gestapo session, he revealed his broad was pregnant with baby girl #3.
There comes a time in every relationship where you have to decide whether it's worth it. Ya know, weigh the pros and cons. I decided to test him. I had absolutely no deep feelings for him, so I did the best and most logical thing I could think of. I told him I loved him.
Pause: Now I told y'all I was out of practice. I didn't know what else to say. My relationship with #29 was so dysfunctional, and I had been on lock down since I was 19. Naw, no excuses. Feel free to pull my player card on this one.
I think embarrassment kept me from calling him again. Fear kept him from calling me.
I liked the fact that I was extremely trusting; I thought that it made me innocent. The problem is that no one rewards innocence, people reward sneakiness and sexuality. I figured I better get some of that if I wanted to survive out here.
Cynicism is key, guys. Cynicism is key.
I went to bars with friends to pass the time away and fend off pangs of loneliness.
One night, sitting at the Triple L, in walks #42.
He was dirty and layered in heavy clothes with rough hands. Construction, not bad. He smiled at me--perfect white teeth. Even better. We talked and exchanged numbers quickly. We talked some more--we had a lot in common. He was recently single as well.
He was cute, a little too short, but a big buy nonetheless. I figured my first time back in the game, I didn't need to be picky about whose team I was on. Rebounds in the dating game are temporary, ,but still a necessary game winning statistic.
Pause: I used to be very trusting, even to the point of being naive.
I took everything he said at face value. He recently broke up with his daughters' mother, she was nagging, demanding, and unwilling to let the relationship go. She caused drama. His story seemed plausible, and further more, who am I to judge? I entered the situation knowing that this was going to be a temporary fix. Plus, my situation sounded very similar and ultimately not much better.
We snuck around, for different reasons of course. I snuck around because I didn't know how else to be. I snuck around to prove to my ex (#29), as if to say "Ha ha! I'm more clever than you." Plus when I left, I moved in with my mother--I surely couldn't take him home. He snuck around because he needed to, because she was still at home with him.
Dating folly: Not asking enough questions. #42 never lied to me, but I had to probe to get answers because he wasn't very forthcoming. I was only interested in knocking some of the cobwebs off so even after I interrogated the truth out of him, we continued to sneak.
It was fun. We fucked everywhere. We would get hotel rooms for the weekend, have sex at his office and other kinky places, and he would buy me gifts. I felt so pampered, so different than what I had just left. I was content being his concubine while he disregarded the boundaries of his relationship.
You ready for a gauntlet to drop?
After one gestapo session, he revealed his broad was pregnant with baby girl #3.
There comes a time in every relationship where you have to decide whether it's worth it. Ya know, weigh the pros and cons. I decided to test him. I had absolutely no deep feelings for him, so I did the best and most logical thing I could think of. I told him I loved him.
Pause: Now I told y'all I was out of practice. I didn't know what else to say. My relationship with #29 was so dysfunctional, and I had been on lock down since I was 19. Naw, no excuses. Feel free to pull my player card on this one.
I think embarrassment kept me from calling him again. Fear kept him from calling me.
I liked the fact that I was extremely trusting; I thought that it made me innocent. The problem is that no one rewards innocence, people reward sneakiness and sexuality. I figured I better get some of that if I wanted to survive out here.
Cynicism is key, guys. Cynicism is key.
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