Cougar Status..

(The title of this one should be how I failed at being a cougar).

This is a story about #16.

I worked at Meijer for about 7 years.  I was a service coordinator which basically meant that I got to stand in the front of the store and look cute.  Perfect job for me.  In a way, I was the boss.  #16 started out as a "bagger," a teenager outside pushing carts.  I was well into my 20's--mid to late 20's. 

I quit that job and some time passed.  I went into the store and there, behind the meat counter, was #16, still looking adorable and boyish.  Let me do the math really quick in my head.  He had to be about 18 or 19 now.  We flirted--we always had.  I asked him for his digits, I may have even actually said digits.  Cougar move "A" was successful. 

We started going out--breakfast here and there.  We would chill at my place or do something mundane.  I laid out some charm (I can be charming if I try).  He was smitten--I was something different.  After I gained approval from his friends (and his dad), I worked out the other 2 parts to my plan.  Cougar move "B" successful. 

I discussed my plan with a couple of my most trustworthy friends.  I was apprehensive and need a little reassurance that I wasn't committing a felony.  Those stankin' bitches laughed at me--that's how real friends are.  It was official--I was going in. 

Pause:  This is one of the fantasies that women dream about, right?  I mean, fresh meat, cook to my perfection; play doh, soft, warm and moldable.  This was going to be awesome.  I was going to have my own little boy toy.  Someone who only knew me and how I liked things.  Someone I could train and try some kinky things out on.  He was going to be a cross between my dog and my guinea pig.  I was excited. 

Dating folly: Getting ahead of yourself. 

I lured him into my bedroom one sunny afternoon--closed all the blinds and locked all the doors.  It was on. 

We started with the usual foreplay--he was a little "inexperienced" beyond that so I started to put his hands where I wanted them to be.  More nervousness--less excitement.  This was going to be harder than I had anticipated.  I removed a couple articles of clothing and pressed my body to his.  Warmth is a turn on, right?

Apparently not for #16.  What the hell?!  What teenager doesn't want to get laid?

I climbed on top of his tall and skinny frame, easily straddling him, thinking to myself, "Let me be a little more direct in my approach."   I unbuckled his belt, then unbuttoned his pants, then unzipped them.  Hmmm.  Tall and long myth disproved, maybe that was the white side of him.

I shook off my disappointment.  I smiled at him and quietly asked, "What do you want?"  I was expecting the normal male response--I was expected to him to ask for some head.  I poised myself to oblige. 

His response:  I don't know.

I blinked twice, and I'm sure my facial expression spoke clearly of my amazement in my silent stupor.  Haven't you ever watched a porno and said to yourself, "I wanna do that."  I'm pretty sure I verbalized this, because I remember him saying,

"I don't know.  I've never been able to tell a girl what I wanted before."

Damn!  We really have to start from square one.  I realized then that I had an amazing respect for teachers.

Well all right then, lesson one.........

I kissed him again, starting with the lips, to his neck, down his bare, beige hairless chest, to the jungle of love.  I nibbled--he jumped.  Good, just the reaction I wanted.

I licked once, he moaned.  Again, his eyes closed.  I was just about to blow his mind when someone knocked at my damn door. 

Are you serious?  I looked out the window to see #58's car.  Shit!

CODE 10, CODE 10!  RED ALERT!!

Pop up?  A pop up?  Right now?  You have no idea how much time I put in to just get him this far!  Cock blocking bastard.  #58 stood out there for 30 minutes intermittently knocking on my door.  30 fucking minutes!

Cougar move "C" unsuccessful.  Mission aborted. 

I never liked the term cougar anyways.